Merry Christmas!

It's been almost a month since I've last updated, and the only thing that's happened is the Yankees bought everyone. Mostly.

The Twins have just signed R.A. Dickey to a minor/major league contract with an invitation to big league spring training. I'm glad that they're trying to bolster the bullpen, but I feel the need to remind them that the last time the knuckleballer came to the Dome, he tied a major league record for most wild pitches in an inning.

Just putting that out there.

Also, the holiday season is upon us, so my gift to you is this excerpt from a Joe Nathan interview-

"MLB.com: All right, it's time to have a little fun. I'm going to have you play Secret Santa for the Twins. You get to pick three people on the team to buy gifts for and then tell me what you'd pick out for them.

Nathan: OK, let me think. Well, first off I'd see if I could find Cuddy [Michael Cuddyer] some of those Harry Caray glasses, because I'm sure he's going to be a broadcaster some day. And I think he needs some of those. Then for Matt Guerrier, he would probably get ... I mean, I could get him anything and he'd like it. I could get him a frosty mug and he'd be pumped. He'd walk into a room with it, carrying it and saying, "Yes, I got a frosty mug." And lastly, I'd get Brian Buscher a guitar. He's been teaching us all how to play and I'm sure he could always use another one. "

Can't you just picture Matty doing that?

Anyway, Happy Holidays everyone!

Gobble Gobble

Radio- *starts playing 'Sweet Caroline'

My Dad- Hey! This is the song they play at the Twins games!

Me- mmhm...*nods*

My Dad- And Justin sings to Joe!

Me- ...



Anyway, Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

The Good, The Bad, and the...Amazing?

The good news-

Gardy is signed till 2011

Joe won a Gold Glove AND a Silver Slugger

Justin also won a Silver Slugger

Joe Nathan was voted the best closer in baseball by the internal players poll

The bad news-

No Neshek in '09.

(How do you kill your elbow while your rehabbing it? Pat...you're breaking my heart)

And the Amazing, Make-Your-Week News?

NICK SWISHER IS A YANKEE!

Yay!

Haha

Umm yeah....so....GO RAYS!



It really frustrated me to think the Red Sox were going back to the World Series again, but those pesky Rays...

All I can say, Matt Garza, is thanks. I would only like you better if you were still a Twin.

As a commenter on SI.com so keenly pointed out, could this be the start of the Curse of Manny? I'm not really a Manny fan, but I sure hope so.

More post-season stories when I find the time.

I Lied

I said I wouldn't cry.

And, after Blacky gave up a Thome bomb, I didn't.

I said I wouldn't cry when we lost, and I didn't.

And then I read this-

"Thirty minutes after the Twins' 1-0 loss to the Chicago White Sox, manager Ron Gardenhire sat in his office, his mind still racing.
Should he have hit this guy for that guy? Made this move or that one?
Then young Jose Mijares walked in.

Mijares, 23, was called up from the minors in September and quickly became a trusted relief pitcher. He has overcome an awful lot of personal problems, including a terrible car accident in which he nearly ruined his pitching arm last winter.

But on Tuesday, with the season on the line, he was the first one summoned from the bullpen. He walked up to Gardenhire, held out his hand, and in his best, broken English said: "Thank you. Thank you. I wasn't scared."

Gardenhire hugged Mijares and told him: "I'm so proud of you."

The kid beamed."

And I did.

Win, or Die Trying

Whatever happens tonight, I have promised myself I will not destroy anything (in immense joy, or complete agony, it does not matter).

I will not cry.

Or scream.

Or go over the 'coulda shoula woulda's'.

I will, however, be extremely proud of them.

The never giving up, the always running things out, winning when it counts, and leading the world with hitting with runners in scoring position.

I will be proud of the new pirahanas, (I mean, um, rabbits?), being scrappy, and stealing bases and running till the other team can't see anything but the cloud of dust they leave behind when they finally notice they're gone.

I will be proud of our starting rotation, whose oldest pitcher is 27, despite the fact they all look like they're 12 years old. I will love their first pitch strikes, and fielding their positions, and even sacrificing their beautiful faces (Blacky, I'm looking at you).

No matter what happens, I will be proud, because either way, this season has been a success, and this is my state, this is my team, and I am a proud member of Twins Territory.

Bullseye!

Hey Matt Tolbert, hitting two triples in two consecutive innings is awesome. You should do it right now, while we're tied with the Tribe. It would make me love you. Like a lot.

Target Field- Where White Sox fans go with their crossbows for target practice.

(Personally, I'm not a fan.)

Dear Joe Nathan,


What. The. Fuck.


Angrily yours,

BatKra

Advice From an Astronaut

Wooow...a lot has happened since my last post.

Adam hit a homer after that guy from the Stennis Space Center told him he needed to hit better, the Chief made a very un-triumphant return to the Dome, Kubel killed the Mariners single handedly, Brad Ziegler finally gave up a run, the Mets bullpen blew some more saves, as did Mo, and the Angels finally lost a series.

Catches were made, homers were hit, and Top Plays were turned.

And I didn't cover any of it.

Oops.

However, I am back, and here to talk about tonights win.

Can you believe that there were actually 2 home runs hit by the Twins tonight? By Buscher, which isn't to surprising, cause he's a big, strong, man, and GO-GO.

Carlos Gomez.

Mr. I'm hitting .190 in the month of August.

Yeah. His first homer in 224 at-bats.

I'm proud.

We scored lots 'o' runs tonight, with our bottom four in the line-up accounting for, like, 90% of the runs, so Slowey could go out there and pitch only slightly goodish and he could still win.

But no, he decideds to go out there and totally freakin' dominate everyone.

7 innings pitched, 2 runs, 1 earned run, 5 (I think) hits, and 12 strikeouts.

12.

That's a career high for him, and the most by a Twink since Johan killed 17 Rangers in July of '07.

12.

And it's wasn't like he was throwing 97 with sick movement either. But man, was he ever hitting his spots. He didn't walk anyone, even though he fell behind some 3-1.

He was totally doing his Timmeh Lincecum impersonation without making it look like he was going to have his head fall off.

Those guys on Baseball Tonight even said he had a little Greg Maddux going on.

Great praise for such a youngster, for sure.

Speaking of BBTN, what's with the Twins home-runs not getting much 'Touch 'em All' love lately?

LNP's constant Web-Gems make up for it, I guess.

As a little parting gift, I give you some Slowey.

He can have all the cookies he wants tonight cause he pitched better then Rich Harden (who went 7 and only got 10 K's. Ha!), Sheets (who just kinda sucked today), and Dice-K (who gets alot more credit then he deserves. He has major control issues. And he only went 5.)

So there.

Super Span

Uh, yeah. I think Denard deserves a HUGE cookie for keeping the Twinks in the lead in at least one game against Seattle.

I pretty much cried when he caught that.

But I was pretty much crying when Beltre hit it too...so either way...

...

Yeah, Span makes me happy.

(But not as happy as he is here)

Here are some other awesome SpanCatches-

Return of The Franchise

Yes, I was at the Dome yesterday to watch Francisco Liriano's return to the bigs.

And I was pretty happy with it. When he pitched himself into trouble, he pitched himself right back out of it.

There was room for improvement, yes, but it was definitely a successful first outing.

He struck out 5 batters in 6 scoreless innings and walked 3, dropping his ERA from the high 11 something to about a 7.2.

Of course, with this win, the Twinks have passed the White Sox and taken over first place in the big, bad, AL Central.

Don't get me wrong, I'm ecstatic about that, but a lot of people are making it sound like Liriano rocketed the Twins into first all by himself.

It's as if Liriano was some sort of super pitcher that could throw one strike that simultaneously strikes out all 9 batters 3 times.

And we all know Reyes is the only pitcher allowed to throw one pitch and get a win.

So yes, I'm happy that 'Cisco is back, and replacing Livan to boot, but a pitcher doesn't come back with his first major league win in two years and become the sole player responsible for moving a team into first place.

Just keep that in mind.

Breaking News:

Livan Hernandez and Craig Monroe have been designated for assignment and Liriano and Randy Ruiz have been calle up from Triple A.

Trade Talk!

This just in-

The Angels have traded Casey Kotchman and pitching prospect Stephen Marek to the Braves for Mark Texiera.

Huh.

Slowey Gets A Cookie

Barring the icky sweep by the Yankees, the Twins have been playing pretty well since my last update.


Which was actually a really long time ago, looking back. But it turns out I do have a life other than blogging about the Twins.


Take Sunday for instance-


I sat through 14 innings of Fargo-Moorhead Redhawks/Joliet Jackhammers baseball, and that wasn't even the whole game.


And I was in the sun the whole time.


Frequent trips to Physical Therapy has also taken up alot of my valuable blogging time, and tommorrow I am privileged enough to get to be able to waste my time with an MRI.


Yay.


...


But back to the important stuff.


WE BEAT THE WHITE SUX!!


Not only did we beat them, but Kevin Slowey SHUT THEM OUT!!!


I could not be happier with this team right now.


-Denard Span hit his first Major League homer, which put the Twins in the lead for the first time.


-Two batters later, Justin comes up and does his 'Home Run Derby King/I Can't Let This Kid Show Me Up' thing and hits another homer.


Fans cheered and a good time was had by all.


-GoGo came in late, got a hit, sprinted around the bases, (sat in the dugout and accidentally dropped his mouthpiece in on the ground) and was smiling again (when he wasn't grimacing from running so fast no one knew where he was).


Also, the Sox weren't exactly on top of their game.


-They didn't hit a homer, and in games when they don't get the long ball, they're 5-22. Haha! They actually had one for a few minutes, when Jermaine Dye hit that ball that went really far that everyone knew was foul except for the third base ump.

Even Dye knew it was foul and didn't argue at all.


When Ozzie came out after the call was taken back, I was expecting some of this:






But he was very calm.


Very disapponting Ozzie.


He did show some emotion in the dugout though:




Well, maybe not.

-A.J. ...

My god, what the $#%& did you do to your hair?



Scary photo courtesy of

Litterblog

It made me lose my appetite.

But that's prolly cause it's exactly the same color as those tasty Lemon Ices, which is what I was eating at the time. So, naturally, I couldn't finish it, and I gave it to my dog, who also didn't eat, but most likely for different reasons.

-Nich Swisher. Ha! You lost your glove and you didn't hit anything. I give total credit to

THOSE girls

for they're super idea to 'love' Nick Swisher to make him suck. I tried it, and it worked! They are so smart. I'm jealous.

Oh My Danza

Another post! Yay!

Honestly though, I don't know why I'm bothering. It's 5:08 AM here in the BatKra Kave, I don't really remember what happened in the game other then we won, and there is an extremely loud and annoying thunderstorm in the works, and the thunder keeps shaking the house.

When I remember what happened in the game, I'll post a beautiful, long, detailed and witty description about it. And then do the same about the 3 Twinks goin to the All-Star game.

But for now you can just watch this-

The Casey Crawl



It's the only thing a Red Sox (Red Soxer? Red Soxinite? Red Sux?) has ever done that I liked.

Good night mornin y'all...

Back On Track

After that very, very painful sweep by the BoSox, the Twinks are back on track.


But at first, I didn't know that, and was under the impression that they were very far off track, beacuse I thought they had lost.


Not because they were down 6-4 when the Tiggers but their closer in, (because I didn't get a chance to watch or listen to the game cause I was stuck babysitting from 8:30 to 4:00) but because I checked the score on my phone around 3:30, and the Quick-Score said we'd lost 6-3.



Needless to say, I was very sad. But I went to check the detailed score anyway.



I should have realized something was wrong with the program when the line score claimed we had 4 runs. And that it told me that Slowey pitched 3 innings and Breslow pitched 1.



"Well no wonder we lost!" I thought to myself "We only had a pitcher for 4 innings!"



Later that night, my dad called from Arizona, and the first thing he said to me was "Twinks won!" (Because that's usually the only thing we talk about)



Obiously, I was very confused, having spent the day mourning the loss and getting prepared for another terrible road trip like the one that started in Chicago. My dad didn't have time to go through the whole game with me, and I ended up still being confused, yet slightly hopeful.



So I did the only sensible thing to do in a situation like this- SportsCenter! Baseball Tonight!



And I was not disappointed.



Morneau went 5-5 with the game winning homer in the 11th inning, and he is the 1st player to go 5-5 or better with the game winning hit since Perez did it in 1973.



Spam Span went 4-4



Joe Nathan came in to pitch in the bottom of the ninth and threw 31 pitches, walking the bases loaded with only 1 out, and procceded to get two strikeouts to end the inning and strand 3 (haha Pudge!). And that's why he's an All-Star.



LNP and Morneau also had that really awesome double play. I won't try and describe, because it's so face-meltingly amazing that if I think about it, my face will drip off onto my keyboard and cause it to short-circuit.



But it was played many times on the late night shows, earning the #1 web-gem on Baseball Tonight and the #2 Top Play on SportsCenter. The newscasters even called LNP a "perpetual web-gem" and claimed that he's "the best athlete the Twins have on the field".

Can't really disagree.



This game was only Todd Jones' 2nd blown save.



And Matty Guerrier was the winning pitcher! In honor of that, I did a litte digging and found this adorable picture of him and his mom:








Wasn't he a cutie?

Meh

BoSux-1 Twins-0

Poor Scotty Baker. He did so well, too.

Stupid Boston.

SWEEEP!

Another come from behind win!


And, in honor of that, I present the Twins with their very own rally pumpkin.











Yay!



Unfortunately, I wasn't able to watch the game as I don't get My29 (Way to support all of Twins Territory guys). But, the radio got the message across just fine and I was able to watch a replay of the game on FSN.



Poor Cliff Lee, I can't help but to feel a little sorry for him, as this was only his second loss of the season, and first loss to an AL team.



In honor of that, I give Mr. Lee his very own BooHoo Pumpkin.










(See how much bigger it is then the Rally Pumpkin? That's cuz Lee was later seen crying in the dugout, and being given a ginormous hug by Mr. Innuendo. he's spose to be the good player on the team. But he's not.)



Also, what was up with him sayin mean stuff to GoGo? Poor baby can't do anything without someone not likin it. When they asked Speedy what Lee said to him, he told them it wasn't something he could repeat on the air.



Not cool Cliff, not cool.






But it was a good game, anyway.


Who's ready to take on the BoSox?


I bet Varitek is gonna try and start a fight with His Studly-ness because he's so upset over the All-Star game. But Joe will just be his Minnesota nice and try and offer the Tek some sunflower seeds.


Or something.

Winner Winner Chicken Dinner!

The Comeback kids strike again!



After Mr. Innuendo hit a 3 run homer to give the Tribe a 5-2 lead, the Twinks pulled out their small ball stuff and came back to win it.



Well, small ball and the 8 walks given out by the Cleveland pitchers.



Poor studly Joe was walked 3 times, so really, tonight he was 1 for 2 with his 4th homer of the year to make it a 5-4 game.



Despite the excess of balls (get your mind out of the gutter! I mean walks!), it was a good game.



The entire line-up produced, and the defense tonight was amazing, with Casilla getting the #2 Top Play on SportsCenter and getting 2 webgems on Baseball Tonight, one for each LNP and Sexy Alexi. Maybe it's time Gogo and Alexi taught Punto the SuperSecretBFF handshake they have. Denard Span (or Spam, as he's known in our house) already knows it, and I'm pretty sure I saw Craig Monroe getting some hand action also.



But they didn't teach it too him, so Little Nicky Punto and Dr. Neau had to try and make one up on their own. It didn't look nearly as cool though.



White guys can't handshake. Or something like that.



Also, it's Jesse Crain's 27th birthday today. Yay!






As of tonight, the Twinks are 11 games above .500, have won 7 series in a row, and are only 1 game behind the White Sux.


The Pregame show today started half an hour early in honor of the troops. They showed a nice ceremony to honor everyone who has, and is serving. A saxophone quartet, the team wearing caps from the Navy, Army, Marine Corps, etc.


And then, there was a hot air ballon.


It was a nice thought, with the POW/MIA design, but did they forget the Dome has a roof?

The Tribe comes to the Dome...

...and don't really do anything.

But I didn't really expect them too. However, it was kind of a close-ish game in the first 6 innings.

And then the Twins pounded on the runs and played a bunch of small ball like they're so good at.

Even though not a lot of good stuff happened for the Team With a Racially Insensitive Name (like Grady striking out twice), there's a whole long list of Stuff That Went Right for the Twinks:

- Little Nicky Punto hit a home run!! I did not see that one coming. It was his first homer in 356 at bats.

-Gogo made that awesome catch where he smacked into the wall, caught the ball, then caught his hat behind his back. (I stayed up really late watching Baseball Tonight, ESPNews, Sportscenter and FSN Final score and poor Speedy didn't get a web gem on any of them )

-This doesn't really have anything to do with the playing, but Brian Buscher looked really tan tonight. Maybe he goes tanning on his off days?

-delMON Young hit that 3 run homer, bringing his season total up to an almighty 3.

Yes, I am a die-hard Twinkies fan, but I do like Cleveland when we're not playing them. Their whole team has really, really fun names.

-Grady Sizemore...Sizemore... with a name like that, he's a walking innuendo.

-Ryan Garko- who, at our house, is affectionately called the Garko Gecko and teased constantly about why he's playing baseball and not selling motorcycle insurance to a jellyfish.

Or however those commercials go.

-What'sHisFace Choo- We don't know his first name, but at his first at bat my dad couldn't help but to pull the classic "I Choo Choo Choose you" line.

And then he giggled.

- And of course theres Jhonny Peralta. Ja-honny Purr-AllTell Family Plan. 'Nough said.

In the pre-game show, Bert mentioned Travis Hafner was on the DL and after that I expected him to break out the North Dakota jokes, being that that's where Hafner is from, but the Blyleven left me hanging. I'm very disappointed in you Bert.

I love the Postgame show. I really do. Especially when players get pies to the face during their interview with Telly Hughes. I'm lookin at you, delMON. And to keep the creamy pie on your face during the whole interview? I love it.

Lots and lots of stuff happened in baseball today. While waiting for the Twins story on all the shows previously listed above, I got to see all the interesting bits (like, 4 times each)

-Santana has lost in his last 5 starts for the Mets. It's taking a lot of willpower to not go into a long I Told You So rant.

-Detroit lost to Seattle, of all places, and Pudge got ejected. The clip of it reminded me of the little girl I used to babysit when she didn't want to go to bed. Exact same facial expression.

-How 'bout them Rockies? They were losing 13-4 to Florida, and came back to win it 18-17. Wow.

-Pujols hit his 300th homerun tonight off the left field foul pole. Foul pole homers have got to be the best. If I were to win that contest where you tell David Ortiz where to a homer, I'd totally tell him to hit it off the right field foul pole.

Yes, I know it's not the best post, but I'm really tired, and my shoulders are the same color as radishes, and there was a lot of stuff to talk about.

Oh, by the way, Happy Independence Day!

The Very First

Well hello there, Interweb.

Long time no see, eh?

Yes, I apoligize for ignoring you, but my free time has been filled by my one true love.

I'm sorry, Interweb. I've been cheating on you.

With the Minnesota Twins.

But you have to admit, there are so many reasons to love them more then you-

1.) They're a baseball team. You're not.

2.) They're adorable. Again, you're not.

3.) You don't live at the Metrodome. So there.

4.) I'd like to see you catch a fly ball.

Yes, baseball is better then you, Interweb. You might be the internet/WorldWideWeb, but you don't run nearly as fast as Carlos Gomez, or look anywhere near as studly as Joe Mauer, or make great defensive plays like Little Nicky Punto.

So I'm leaving you. For baseball.

Cause baseball diamonds are a girls best friend.

Congratulations, reader! You have finally made it to the first post of BatKra's baseball blog! Most likely, you too, are a fan of the Minnesota Twins, and are itching to read amazing tales and tidbits about the best baseball team to ever play under a baseball colored roof.

However, if you want a blog that is pure greatness, I haven't quite reached that status yet (It's hard to do with only one-post under your belt). So you'll have to be patient with me and check back often, and forgive my rookie mistakes, just like Gardy forgives GoGo.

Hopefully, in the future, BatKra will be able to hang with the cool Twins blogs, like One Man Grand Slam, or Oh It's THOSE Girls. But for now, I'm just a rookie, waiting for the hazing to begin.